


Strengths and Weaknesses

by womanaction



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M, Post-Episode: s07e22 Chosen, Post-Series
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-19
Updated: 2017-12-19
Packaged: 2019-02-16 22:20:18
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 231
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13063332
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/womanaction/pseuds/womanaction
Summary: Spike's terrified. Silly domestic garbage.





	Strengths and Weaknesses

Before she even opens the door she can make out a constant stream of profanity issuing from the bedroom. She knows Spike well enough to be able to differentiate between the types of swearing: there’s angry swearing, of course, but there’s also terrified swearing, excited swearing, throes-of-ecstasy swearing, and trying-to-be-cool swearing. This is terrified swearing. 

She grabs a sword off the wall and breaks down the door with one swift kick, only to find her boyfriend crouched in the corner, her shoes piled around him like a barricade. Every few seconds he reaches into the stack and launches the shoe to the opposite corner of the room. 

“Spike?” she asks cautiously, lowering her weapon. He jumps.

“Buffy! Uh...hello.”

“You’re not...you know, seeing things no one else can see again, are you?”

He manages to look righteously offended even while clutching a red velvet pump like it’s a lifeline. “I’m not bleedin’ mad, Buffy.”

“Okay, so what’s with Fort the Bloody over here?”

Spike points and she follows his gaze...to...

“A spider?”

“Kill it,” he says, eyes wide and voice at least an octave higher than usual. “It’s your...sacred duty! That thing is evil. Demon spider. I’m sure of it.”

She looks at him, dumbfounded. “You...lived...in a  _crypt_.”

“ _Kill it_ ,” he says again, more urgently. 

Buffy rolls her eyes, takes the shoe, and kills the spider.

**Author's Note:**

> In response to an ask game about Spike/Buffy on tumblr, an anonymous user sent this: ""Who kills/takes out the spiders: Buffy" nngh now i'm imagining Spike cowering in a corner and telling Buffy to kill the spider using the same tone he used when he said "Undo it Undo it" in Pangs. Lmao"
> 
> And...this happened.


End file.
